Tonight We Mean It

Here Be Drags

2011-05-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

I've never heard this song. I really like the Hold Steady. I lost track with them a little bit. It's too hard to keep track of music. Even music I already know and love. Some of my friends do an admirable job of keeping up. It is so easy to slip. They planted a flag in the dirt and stood by it, and rode dirt flag all the way to the bank. I like that, and I like that the hill they chose to die on was one that has absolutely no relation to the popular bands of the day. Craig Finn and his boys basically got super rich doing an approximation of a Bruce Springsteen who forgoes the pathos of the working man and pickets with the low-lifes and excellent scumbags and the dudes and ladies on the margins. I know pretty much anyone reading this probably knows who the Hold Steady are. They just popped up on iTunes. That's a good thing.

My bold declaration is thus: They make me proud I am a human, and that I have ears to hear, and that I was lucky enough to hear "Hostile, Mass" when I did, so I could follow them the whole way. Of all the paths this is one that seems the most deservedly emulated. Done the right way. The difference between the Memphis Grizzlies and the Miami Heat (something to be discussed soon). Decency and warmth and intent and delivery and lift-off like you wouldn't believe.

ALMOST KILLED ME indeed.

Runts and the End of the Evening

2011-05-25T16:25:00.001-07:00

This was supposed to go in the "summer doy a ding-dong summer!" post but I FIGURE it deserves a post of its own. Deserves! I wanted to solicit reading recommendations, but on Facebook this would probably just lead to FLAME WARS and TROLLING and about seven million terrible suggestions. And my Twitter done BROKE ISSELF. The funny thing is, since no one knows this blog exists it is a different sort of futility. I embrace futility as a brother.

These are books I have read recently:

The Temple of the Golden Pavilion by Yukio Mishima
Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert
Children of Dune by Frank Herbert
The Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
The Wreckage of Agathon by John Gardner

So mostly what I have been reading has been set in Japan and the desert planet of Arrakis. Oh, also I have periodically picked up Rabbit, Run by Updike, and even though it is awesome I am having problems really getting in there. Maybe because they are not on the desert planet of Arrakis? "Killing Yourself To Live" is a pretty cool title, but I think I really hate Chuck Klosterman. Especially when he started talking about Kid A predicting 9/11. Why does that lesbian Chuck Klosterman write such annoying bullshit? God.

Suggest away. Speculative fiction, books about rivers, even some Western literature canon, as I haven't read most of it (because I find it TEDIOUS and BORING for the most part). Is there a mixture of David Milch, Craig Finn, and Aaron Cometbus out there? Something to help me learn the world's name.

By the way Your Highness ruled. I was one of the thirteen people who saw it.

Enemies strengthen you. Allies weaken.

2011-05-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

It is pretty much summer. Summer is at worst failed expectations in a firestorm and at best sloshball days and cool nights. Railroad tracks with Jason Molina as crooning whiskey preacher. I've been trying to get a few people to make compilations of summertime music. Throw it my way. An acceptable summer mix could also basically just be 90s indie rock. Almost all of that stuff sounds like baseball bats cracking, pebbles crunching, and some kid realizing some profound shit in an altered state. It's a fun time to be alive, even if the main appeal of summer (a real tangible break from any aspect of your life you hate - school!) has been rendered moot with continued existence. Still, it continues to evoke strange feelings out of me, despite just being something that happens every year around this time. If winter is all about being down and out, summer is the BRINGER OF GREATER THINGS. And yet that thinking is kind of dumb, and puts a lot of pressure on a summer to stand and deliver.

Summer is that snake that just keeps eating its tail. That hungry snake! I think his name is Herbert! Check out these words of MINE, from a couple of years ago, roughly this same exact time: 25 years old, very poor, experiencing a crush you should get out of your system when you are in high school, keeping it low down, dirty, and useless since 2002. Historiography, married women, an anti-coming of age film, swine flu, death on the installment plan. Love, love, love.

The "love, love, love" is an ode to a Mountain Goats song. I wasn't insane. Everything else is pretty boilerplate Alex. I'm of the opinion boilerplate Alex is pretty cool at this exact moment, so I ain't trippin, bruh bruh. I guess my main point, if I had one, is that for whatever silly reasons, summer is an extremely special time, and shit always seems to HAPPEN with a frequency. I will be forty five years old and I'll still consider summer bildungsroman times. Going to parks to get my basketball ON(!), porch and stoop times, nights that just don't end, hatching deviously benign schemes and getting teary eyed listening to Drake or Cinerama, I channel my hero George W. Bush and say BRING IT ON, BRUH BRUH. I get the sense more and more every year that this kind of thing has to stop. But I'm going to pretty much deny that until the moment I die. Not a principled stand, but a stand.

I have a gross summer goal and a lot of free time. Get at me, younglings. I miss you.

Thou Shalt Not Disfigure the Soul

2011-05-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hey blogosphere!

I'm graduating COLLEGE tomorrow. What does this mean? Not much. But I get to wear a hat and have an excuse to feel gnarly for forty five minutes.

I have some thoughts that might go slightly over 140 characters. But only slightly. Get back on the Astro Train, my pretties.

The night is dark and full of terrors

2010-02-24T20:30:00.000-08:00

Changing tmeplates means I lost my blogroll.

I LOST MY BLOGROLL.

MY BLOGROLL IS GONE!

Pain like you have no fucking idea.

Let justice be done though the heavens fall

2009-12-24T20:51:00.000-08:00

Some news.

David Leventhal is engaged. Hey-O!

Bob is now my roommate.

It is Christmas Eve.

Accepting submissions for the next Astro Train.

I'm particularly offended by girls and this proposition: "If neither of us are married in ten years we should get married." Aiyo, how come no less than eight girls have said that to me? It is not RAD to be a back-up plan (not to mention a fake back-up plan!). What the hell people, what the hell?

You are not the cosmos!

I wish it was warmer. I could go on more night walks. Cold hands and frosty breath is great and all, but I want people to SEE what band I'm repping on my shirt. You feel me?

On a related note: the reason I do not update this is because the written word is particularly irritating to me right now. I haven't written anything decent in so long, and what ends up happening is me talking about how I don't like to walk around in the cold. So asinine it hurts to look at. I feel I owe you, as dear friends, to not waste your time with that kind of shit. It's at this point I mention the hilarious irony of Saad Hariri visiting Bashar al-Asad in Damascus, thereby demonstrating my knowledge of things beyond drinking Whiksey Sours. It is also right after that point, that you roll your eyes at such a feeble attempt at actual commentary on an actual issue or event. I feel like that used to be my calling card. Outraged, unhelpful commentary maybe, but man, I kind of gave a fuck at one point in time. I swear to GOD mang, I am just tooooo tired to watch CNN anymore. All I really want to do is listen to Propagahndi and Jason Molina over and over again. A simple life. A simple proud life, lived well, by a dude. Sometimes the ties that bind are strained, AM I RIGHT?

I'm going to start working on a "novel" soon, and this blog will become excerpts of said novel, analysis on the NBA season, or just more rehashes of a criminally insecure member of the blogosphere. I'm attempting a Richard III comic book adaptation with Bridget. I want to start a black metal band called God Wills It.

The Crass Posse is alive and strong. Strong in the way of something that's been ripped to shreds but still is functional and mad like a demon.

Elizabeth is about to have a baby.

The point is, life is decent, and not nearly as stupid as these posts make it seem.

My top vacation spots:

1) Iran
2) England (Bosworth Field, muthafuckka)
3) Spain
4) Japan
5) Lebanon
6) Australia
7) Norway
8) Vietnam
9) Egypt
10) Russia

Oh. I had a pretty neat movie experience the other night. I was texting Erin about burning me this hilarious 8-bit trance-y type CD. And I said something to her that I didn't realize was true but when I read those words I was like, holy fucking shit, that is so true. A kind of reclamation of the narrative of the who-what-and why I am. I tell you this in bad faith, you will not see the boy in me die, I'm in this game of nutters and complete nutters for the long haul. Thank you for your friendship and for your patience and for your insanity to be reading these (awesome!) rants! The reason it is ironic is because Bashar probably killed Saad's dad! On the other hand, this could be an example of a ruthless peacemaker. We should get into that, right? It's actually not that, I just wanted to introduce a thread that I'll return to eventually. The ruthless peacemaker. Something I'd be fine with on my tombstone.

I feel some seismic shift shit on the horizon, but I'm ready for that, cause I got my clan in the front, and there's no peace in destiny, just motherfucking destiny! 2010 is our year guys, lets take this one by the horns. I hope I appropriately mixed the vague with the concrete and I won't re-read this in five minutes and think I'm insane. Actually, I do hope that will happen.

I remain,

The guy covered in tattoos of Qur'anic verses and hadith

baqiyyatu l-sayfi anmaa `adadan my brothers.

What the storm means

2009-11-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

My handball tournament this weekend has been canceled. I haven't been this upset since I lost a pen I kind of liked.

I said defiantly, "I dare you to say ONE good thing about me."

She looked me up and down for what seemed an eternity.

"Your lips are well moisturized."

I laughed, I did. Not only because it must have been a strange cosmic fluke that they were moisturized at all, but that she was serious. That was the one good thing she could say.

I was Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off

Like I always am.

So many leeches

2009-10-04T23:23:00.000-07:00

Run to her dude, run to her.

I can't bring myself to write quality serious shit on this thing anymore. That's fine though. You are fine with that.

My name ain't Thomas and I ain't really that awful.

Summer is the time for melodrama, but it's fall again so back to work, back to work, back to not being a bitch.

Can't Maintain is a great record. No one writes wince inducing lyrics that speak to super relate-able darkness like Sean from Andrew Jack Jihad. I can understand some people's reservations in completely endorsing the band, but on the other hand, I can't, cause it is so extremely fucked up in the most redeeming of all ways.

I have two exams tomorrow, the official start of the new school year. That is what blogs are for right? Talking about school and shit? I've got a job, I don't have problems sleeping anymore, I don't think I'm gonna have a heart attack every night, I don't think about dying all the time, and I have a very respectable coterie of good characters in my life. That's the good shit. My booty call situation could be better, but what are you gonna do, youknowwhatimsaying?

I wish I could bring myself a bit deeper into Lebanon right now, but that godforsaken country is even more depressing than usual. Saad's attempts at a national-unity government aren't being embraced by the opposition, and the usual 15-10-5 seat distribution is not gonna be enough to satisfy Hizbollah and General Aoun. I find whatever it is I just wrote vastly more interesting than even pretending I give a shit about the shameful healthcare pre-emptive implosion by cowardly Democratic senators who I guess need an ULTRA Majority to do anything. The Super Majority just ain't enough for them. We got racist people lining up Winchester and Steven's Creek with signs about going back to Kenya and how we aren't Russia and the White House puts their faith into Max fucking Baucus? To quote the TRANSPLANTS, it's a wicked world we live in. Anyway, who wants to go to Lebanon with me in about 3-4 years? Falafels, nice weather, cute ladies, lets do this. Yo, welcome to the best shallow paragraph about two completely unrelated things ever. All about the amalgamation of capital, YA DIG?

Most recent books: The Painted Bird, Book of Laughter and Forgetting, the Taqwacores.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a bunch of bullshit by the way.

He was a punk and a drunk and never cared what Hanafi or Hanbali or Maliki or Shafi told him to do, but he was sincere and Allah kept him humble.

Rest in peace Thomas Awful!

Saturday wishlist

2009-08-29T17:42:00.001-07:00

1. Find this band (particularly the frontman) and kill them.

2. Learn to breakdance.

Demon Prince

2009-08-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

WOW. Ain't talking World of Warcraft either. Indians are like AFRICANS but in ASIA. Anyway. This weekend wasn't quite the unmitigated disaster last weekend was. In fact, I don't remember what I did at all this weekend. And that's a "fact"! What I remember was ignoring some calls and feeling kind of bad about that, walking around San Francisco at night, some old guy punching some young guy in the face, seeing District 9 (memory is coming back to me now), and just being real depressed about the lack of asymmetrical bicameralism in Lebanon. Oh, the number one thing that has been on my brain this weekend is I think I've got a heart attack coming my way. So when that happens, remember reading this post and think of me fondly.

Mad Dog in a Gatorade bottle, so simple, so principled.

Dumbest Gods

2009-08-12T02:33:00.000-07:00

Dumbest Gods, the long trailer.

Unlike None Shall Pass, there's actually a movie behind this.

Queen Rania's regularly scheduled photoshoot will be back soon.

Suicide: A Better Way

2009-08-06T03:11:00.000-07:00

I wonder if I can still enter this contest.

Having a job is awful, it means I have to "wake up" at a time not of my choosing. That is not what America means to me. I want this weekend to be a mix of the Deer Hunter and Wassup Rockers. Throw in some Love Actually, for the lady girls.

"Adolph, You Beauty" by the Chosen Few is one of the best songs about Hitler by an Australian punk band EVER. I should know, I'm kind of the main authority of Hitler songs in all the land! Tonight at La Vics there was a woman (?) dressed in a very lewd manner! Perhaps she was not raised properly, with a strong father and an un-scantly clad mother. Shit is sad times, all holes in stockings and barely any shirt to speak of. Disheveled eyes, yes I would like extra orange sauce (San Jose's main selling point?) with that.

There is a girl I know. She is like an angel mixed with this guy. We've got destiny, so I'm not gonna worry about the rough and tumble times for now. I will love my fat son, no matter how fat. Why would you even doubt that? I still maintain that in times of despair you just need some of this:

Clan in da front, let your feet stomp
Niggaz on the left, brag shit to death
Now hoods on the right, wild for the night
Punks in the back, c'mon and attract

As always I leave you with the words of Beef Nate: kill kill kill kill destroy destroy destroy!

Push It

2009-08-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

"How to know you hate someone" is something I googled today.

Threw up some gatorade last night and have been tired as hell. The Press Corps ain't human, but we knew that already. Lets follow the example of other pioneers and just devote ourselves to writing sapphic raunch before the coming apocalypse.

Rottweiler Hair

2009-07-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

I bought a bunch of shirts and some gay-ish pants today. Also I found a short fantasy story I wrote. I think I'll go back to that one. Really trying to come up with some "ideas" for a low down dirty and useless zine. What I don't like is when guys play their guitars in order to impress a lady into having sex with them. That's trashy. Don't do that. Have dignity.

No really, do you think it is rad to not have a tan?

I'm going to do some "blogging" stuff. Nate moved in to a new house, he is now my neighbor. My mom has been making jam. I bought the pectin! (whatever that is, I think it is something that you need to make jam and or jelly {difference?}) Also, my brakes broke and I slid through a red light. That was terrifying, but a soothsayer predicted the day I would die once when I was young by looking at my palm or something and that was not the day I was to die. Still, incredible inconvenience. I have four flasks, that is at least 2.5 too many. I just read an email I wrote someone when I was telling them I didn't want to be friends anymore. That shit was cold. What a motherfucker. God willing, we all learned something though. Am I right? Am I right?

Good God, I hate myself. :-)

Oh Come All Ye Faithful!

2009-07-24T04:40:00.001-07:00

What I'm trying to say is I appreciate a good Austin Powers impression.

We discussed a shit-ton of fake boxing matches tonight but the only controversial match was Mike Park vs. Skylar.

Appaloosa is without a doubt the worst movie I've ever watched without little robot silhouettes in the corner.

Creating a government in Lebanon is difficult. March 14th, the neo-Nazi and Socialists of Christian, Sunni, and Druze persuasion are still at odds with the secular nationalists and Hizbollah supporters of the March 8th Coalition. I know, right!?

I want to eat some spaghetti, and I want to eat it now.

What is the point of a pointless blog?

Varg from Burzum is free. He is hanging out on a farm. He will probably release more Burzum albums, but if he does it'll be like the sound of one hand clapping or a tree falling in a forest when no one is there or some other such profound thing.

I've been depressed, but I feel pretty gnarly right now. Made a really hip girl in skinny jeans mix. That is to say, that CD will make a girl in skinny jeans like me. Mostly it is just girls with baggy over-alls that like me. From farms. Collective farms.

Talk about a guy who eats nachos with every meal.

Just A Little Insane

2009-07-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

Think I got a job.

There is some html involved, so I'm going to spruce up on that. It's going to be like that scene in Freaks and Geeks where Nick tries out for the band but only knows one song. That scene I'm unable to watch. Things I've watched lately (on the sick scale):

Solaris- moody, spacey, slow, sick
Picnic At Hanging Rock- moody, creepy, sick
Samurai I: Musashi Miyamto- pretty sick
Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple- decent, last scene really gave me a boner though
Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island- good, minus the Gone With the Wind love shit
To Live And Die In L.A.- incredibly goofy, one tight part, not that sick
Mean Streets- sick!
Chinatown- sick!
On The Waterfront- pretty sick!

next up: Runaway Train, Two Lane Blacktop

I also watched most of A Knight's Tale to see who Robert Addy was and if he would make a good Robert Baratheon in the A Game of Thrones HBO series. He'll be aight. Put some chainmail on him, give him a war hammer, it'll be alright. Yeah baby, yeah!

The time I said I was going to update more frequently has been exposed as a crazy lie. Magnolia Electric Co. next week like a motherfucker, you know what I'm saying! Snootchie boochies!

Queen Rania's husband is known in the region as King Playstation. It is not a term of endearment. I guess people like their dictators to be strong and iron fisted, not fans of Grand Theft Auto. Does that make you horny, baby?

Still deciding on a theme. Been making a lot of mixes, been letting them languish. You can't take that shit back once you let it go. I don't want to do that.

A tip from my prospective employer: "Be willing to dress a little nicer."

You got it chief!

Ok, decided on a theme. Lebanese politics. See you next time. Yeah baby, yeah!

A Same Bastard!

2009-05-28T03:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've been working on a mix tape for a girl almost exclusively. Tragically, I'm not sure I even like this girl. As a human, even! It's kind of like Geoffery Rush and Liam Neeson, at a certain point the madness takes over.

Anyway, reminded again of Berman's words about his lobbyist father: "evil", a "human molestor", an "exploiter", a "scoundrel" and "a world historical motherfucking son of a bitch."[6] Berman ended his post by saying, "I am the son of a demon come to make good the damage."

Goddamn that is cold. Son of a demon. Fighting words!

Classics of Love was...classic!

Digging that song Kermit sings about rainbows. Pitfalls abound though, committing to that. Kind of...kitschy?

For anyone who missed the amazingly bad review of Black Snow:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/black-snow-comic.php

This summer has already been a bit ridiculous and it has been like a week on no school. That is a good sign. Need a real job though, not this under the table game. On the other hand, a real job means there's less time to go to youjizz.com or spankwire.com and all that. Mostly I read about minor characters on wikipedia these days. Not a bad gig for the early hours of the morning, but what to do with the damn sun is shining is a mystery and a half. This is a placeholder for some real shit, oh, believe it, brothers. More Alex than you can fucking handle is coming your way!

Say it with thunder!

Ladyboy, I love it!

Seriously though, shit will get better 'round here. Absolutely. If not better, then on schedule.

Ain't No Sunshine

2009-04-20T07:44:00.001-07:00

I don't want to be defeated I don't want to be defeated I don't want to be defeated I don't want to be defeated!

AMAZING quote from a certain Classics of Love Blog: "...you better show up or I am going to off myself in the bathroom. Does that mean suicide or self-pleasuring? Sometimes they are the same thing."

Paul Newman film fest (Hud!), discovering decent San Francisco, some not terrible sushi, I'm dying to live the yuppie life and you will know me by the trail of cred.

Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others

2009-04-20T04:34:00.000-07:00

Thinking about starting my zine based around my coterie of girl comma friends. Throughout the history of my life as a male who has spoken to girls. I can count twenty of significance. Maybe a page or two for each. Hide the best and worst of their characters. Everyone will come off more or less neutral. Or maybe I'll write it honestly, for myself, for reference or some such, but like the Pamela Anderson sex tape, it will get leaked, and then I'll be embarrassed. I'm trying to think of a really pithy title.

Anyway, thought about it during the duration of typing this. What a horrible idea! These girls would tear me to shreds. I'm talking limbs. Maybe just change their names? On the other hand, maybe I could just do something productive. On the other OTHER hand I'm feeling really Cometbus-y but I'm lazy and don't want to write about eating out of no damn garbage cans.

Put down that cigarette and drop out of high school

2009-04-17T05:28:00.000-07:00

Some first tracks on sea-change albums that tear to shreds pre-conceived notions of erstwhile successful bands, showing evolution, grit, and gumption.

1. "Underground" by Tom Waits (Swordfishtrombones)
2. "Tired Of Sex" by Weezer (Pinkerton)
3. "Mate Ka Moris Ukun Rasik An" by Propagahndi (Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes)
4. "Everything In It's Right Place" by Radiohead (Kid A)

Made that list off the top of my head, with the Radiohead song suggested by Suicideface, but it fits my criteria perfectly. There MIGHT even be a few more examples of this. The Phamaceutical Banditos come to mind. Weezer eventually went back to the dark side of hell, obviously, but Tired of Sex was pretty bomb in its heydey. Reminds me of climbing out windows and making the six block journey back to my house after living in sin with a crazy Mexican tamale. A dog chased me once, a grandma saw me naked, and I dishonorably read her diary and found out I was being cuckolded. High School was the bomb!

Listen to the man, Rudy.

The persistence of the sword

2009-04-14T08:08:00.001-07:00

Alright, let's go balls to the wall here and discuss the one time I actually proposed marriage and why it is forever linked to Mission Of Burma's album, OnOffOn.

The first Mission of Burma song I ever heard was "Max Ernst". A strange slightly older eclectic to the point of ridiculousness dude made me a artsy-punk mix. All the usual suspects, Gang of Four, the Fall, Huggy Bear (!!!), possibly even something as wacky as Joy Division. The other day in my endlessly irritating Historiography class somehow people started talking about Max Ernst and dada, and I was almost about to join in, but as usual I kept to myself, and thereby maintained my well deserved reputation as a weird dude who shows up to class to glower, chuckle occasionally, and be the first to leave. Even though I was more taken by some of the other songs on the mix, for whatever reason, Mission of Burma was the band I chose to most assiduously research. My best guess is that I really liked their name. This was probably around Junior Year, a year which was basically the most High School of High School years, all algebra, first loves, second loves, getting punched in the face, fire alarms, new friends, soda machine shenanigans. My musical palette ranged from Epitaph/Fat bands, to Weezer's Pinkerton. Oh, I also remember getting into Kid A! But as a early teen I was a little hostile towards this post-punk stuff. The primary reason punk appealed to me at the time may have been because it was fast. That's still definitely part of it. Fast is good. Everyone likes fast. Anyway, I started buying their albums, and bizarrely enough, began to actually like this band. There were some easy hits (Academy Fight Song), a song I later learned Moby covered (That's How I Escaped My Certain Fate), and basically just a lot of dense tape-looped weird cacophony. Sitting on a beach in Hawaii, getting sunburned, while listening to "All World Cowboy Romance" and it suddenly CLICKING for me would have to be my second most profound Mission of Burma moment.

On May 4, 2004, Mission of Burma, after like twenty years of not being a band, suddenly, a mere 24 months or so after I discover them, decide to get back together, record a new album, burn down their mansions and take to the streets with that Boston prole turned super-star moxie. I was at De Anza at this time. I had just gotten my Driver's License after years of being too damn scared to get behind a wheel. I worked at the Internet Lab with my accomplice, Beef Nathan. I drove him to work, eschewing freeways because they terrified me at the time, driving all the way down Steven's Creek in the gray morning, forcing Nate to listen to "Career Opportunities" by the Clash several thousand times. To this day I cannot hear that song without thinking of overcast spring days and Nate nodding off in the passenger seat. Back then I obviously spent a lot of time in Cupertino but I had no real conception of it. Hadn't met anyone from De Anza yet really, didn't know the cool spots to throw rocks at or drink a Mad Dog at, only slightly aware of the crazy Area 51 quarry in the hills. My Head's Up Device, or whatever the heck, was all fogged up still. Anyway, it was on one of these days, me and Nate hanging out in the early morn of a super non busy Internet Lab, that I had planned to go to Streetlight after class to acquire for myself the vaunted comeback album. I had already read some reviews, and they were mostly positive, and I was ready for the best and the worst. Anyway, I get it, and it is good. I like it a lot. A few of the songs I am already familiar with, and most of the new stuff sounds just like the old stuff, like they haven't really skipped a dissonant (and I ain't talking minor seconds, tritonus, and major sevenths {no idea what I am saying}) beat. That night I am driving around with my lady friend of the time. Obviously I am listening to it. The first song, a pretty rollicking rocker (which now that I think about I had already downloaded from the Matador Records website!) is playing when we start to get into it. And some past sins come to light, as usual shit not lied about, rather omitted from my narrative I constructed earlier on in the relationship. I feel like a shithead. We get out of the car and walk around Yerba Buena high school, hypothetical situations thrown at each other, and I grow sick with my endless dimwit rationalizations for the careless dumb things I had done. The day had started with such brilliant promise, and now I was spitting harsh words and hearing terrible thing after terrible thing. The night was t-shirt warm, and I was hit in the face a few times I think. At the time it was my wont to scream and kick the ground and basically throw righteous fits. I did some of that. But I felt some crazy panic too. We sat next to my car, on the curb. She was wearing Pumas, as was I. We were both wearing blue dickies. She wasn't looking at me. I stared at my car, in all it's haunted Integra glory. I picked up a roly-poly and in retrospect, rather stupidly asked if she would marry me. I had just turned 20. I was a young 20 at that. Through befuddled tears she quite accurately and soberly pointed out why that was a retarded idea, using some kind of duh logic that wasn't hitting me at the moment. She later reneged on her own smarts, and accepted my roly-poly, in lieu of an official ring. So in effect, I was "engaged" for two months, until July 4th, 2003. That was the beginning of the great unraveling, but that all seems so small, distant, and also really fucking weird now. Obviously to this day, shit like that imprints itself on you by sounds and scents and all those other senses. I remember kicking the dirt, and I remember the fourth and fifth songs on OnOffOn, "Falling" and "What We Really Were". It is downright fucking IMPOSSIBLE to hear those songs and not think of kicking the dirt and picking up an insect (not harmed, but surely dead by now) to propose. What I'm basically saying that without music we are nothing, and every album or song I have ever really loved probably has just as much to do with the shit surrounding it than gnarly riffs or radical choruses. That's probably why I have an affinity for so many bad songs. I don't genuinely enjoy Lil Wayne and Snow SOLEY based on their musical genius. It's one of those it's not what we do but why we do it thangs. Anyway, Propagahndi's new album, possibly worthy of a MacArthur Genius Grant, will remind me in years to come of staying up for two days in a row, and of other secret hilarious shit that would probably somehow be even more boring and gay than my Mission Of Burma story. It will basically remind me of pushing me over the edge into the realm of doing something honestly, no schemes, no ploys, just being straight up and saying what you gotta say and dealing with the nuclear fallout. I've got seven hours to go to sleep, then two hours after that to become well acquainted with post structuralism. This shouldn't be the case, but life is much better with cigarettes. I'm doing my best here, my dawgs. I'll see you around the campfires, the battlements, and the gallows!

Simply a request to honor his strength and speed

2009-04-13T04:24:00.000-07:00

GENIUSES! And of course a shot at Fat Mike is always welcomed around these parts:

TG: Which album of yours does Fat Mike like the least?

CH: I'm not sure. I would suspect it would be anything we released after 1993. I remember him having a rather limited musical palette. Anything that didn't sound like a musical cartoon was "death metal" to him.

Oddly enough, I have been asking myself a lot lately, "What would David Davis do?"

It's So Obvious

2009-03-18T02:39:00.001-07:00

I miss picking out an album to listen to while walking to school or whatever. In this mp3 age (a useful age in many ways) we don't have to really commit to anything. Middle School would have been like Offspring or the Jurassic Park Soundtrack. Sophomore year would have been which Bad Religion CD to tote around all day (dark horse candidate Lagwagon), but man oh man, the first two years at De Anza was the Renaissance of committing to good fucking shit (in my eyes in my eyes!). And De Anza was ideal for just walking around and listening to something all the way through. Scenic as hell. I don't gotta commit to shit now, look at all the songs that are at my disposal. Like, hell of songs! People rag on the town but there are lots of nice places to sit and just hang out under trees and confront your demons or whatever it is you do when you hang out under trees listening to bomb-ass tunes.

Our next "film" will be titled I'm Your Dad Now and is going to completely outlandish and fantastic, kind of Adaptation meets Astro Train Real People Fan Fiction meets Curb Your Enthusiasm/Deadwood meets There Goes The Neighborhood meets a sitcom. Same old acting troupe hopefully.

I haven't smoked since March 30th, 2008.

I am getting two midterms back tomorrow. Grades I expect to get: B and a D. A C and an F would depress me. Splitting the difference and getting a C and a C would be bearable. But that shit ain't in the cards, we know that, right?

And when are people gonna stop mentioning how much Barack loves basketball? Isn't that feeling a tiny bit racist? Did I mention that like two months ago. It feels like I did. But even if I did well I can live with that. Never say die, am I right, am I right? Joey's going to be a dad, Greg's going to be a husband, and there is a perception of me that I am a "horn dog" apparently. That is just flat earth society wrong!

Holy shit, Liam Neeson's wife is fucking brain dead!

Stop That Girl

2009-03-16T12:27:00.001-07:00

A girl playing Bad Religion covers? My high school self would have been blown away (maybe in love).

I don't know about that drug addict dude though.

Went to Oracle last night to peep my dawgs, the game was basically a big hot tranny mess.

Strange (maybe revealing?) frat boy quote about me: If you were a ship in the navy, you'd be a submarine.

OH, I'M GAY!

It was a pretty fun weekend.

Maybe Partying Will Help

2009-03-15T04:01:00.000-07:00

New title for my future autobiography/memoirs/liner notes:

Plug Every Hole and Bury Every Dream

Kind of crass, but it's all about widespread perception, RIGHT?

Evidently Chickentown

2009-03-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

There used to be this closed/broken down gas station type deal-y about a block from my house that has been just sitting there for like ten years. Now it is a coffee and tea joint. My dad likes to go there in the wee hours of the morn. I like that about the dude, always down to try new things in the morning.

The party last night was fun. Lots of bro's talking very loudly and one bro in particular (he called himself Einstein) decided to tell everyone I was gay because apparently he can't take a gay joke, so that was neat. Then I got into my typical scream a little get into people's faces a little buzzed routine. I did my thing, remembered people's names and did some Joy Division dance moves to "Lollipop" and then that was about all I was good for. Going to San Jose State parties is too surreal, I am afraid these people might see me walking around campus. On the other hand (OTOH is internet jargon) from my performances I doubt they would want to be all "Yo, hi!" because you need to approach parties like that as if there was no tomorrow and no walking around campus, you need to destroy it, obliterate it, and make it yours, make it your caribou, your endangered species. Sometimes you might go overboard, or sink with the ship, but that is bound to happen.

Anyway, to be more succinct, I think this is what I was getting at with the Shinobu review: Being in such close proximity to the band it was fairly easy to forget they are a special band. The album made me remember. I am glad for that.

I don't really miss people when they are not around, probably because there are so many gents and ladies that cycle in and out of my life that it almost is a given a pair or an quintet will not be around more than a few months, a year, a few years. You got your core guys and you build around that and no shame, no sir, no shame! Kind of in that missing mood right now, there's nothing like a certain stupid hopelessness to fill you with a new-found purpose and temporarily banish a tiny vestige of that complacency (which will eventually get you!). This all sounds kind of stupid, but what I'm yammering on about is that I have a blog and I have feelings! To put it another way, it is a good thing to be dumped. It is a gut check on your fucking existence and helps you get your shit straightened out to the extent maybe there is some hope for you after all and maybe you still have the tenacity of a cockroach and can make some shit happen, disturb, disturb, disturb, disturb that motherfucking universe, B. I mean what else are you going to do? See, what I really meant to say is I am really missing someone, but instead here, have some amateur self help with my own personal universe disturbing motto. There comes a point when a dude has to decide whether to let it all out or be a self aware dude who crafts a nice calculating image of himself. I'm in the middle of that conversation, clearly in a spot where letting it all out sounds good, but goddamn I might look at this in a month and go WHAT. THE. FUCK. are you talking about homeboy? Bunch of stupid shit, but god damn, that's just life. It's a living thing!

Last page or so of Unbearable Lightness of Being:

"Tomas", she said to him out on the floor, "everything bad that's happened in your life is my fault. It's my fault you ended up here, as low as you could possibly go."

"Low? What are you talking about?"

"If we has stayed in Zurich, you'd still be a surgeon."

"And you'd be a photographer."

"That's a silly comparison to make," said Tereza, "Your work meant everything to you; I don't care what I do, I can do anything, I haven't lost a thing; you've lost everything."

"Haven't you notice I've been happy here, Tereza?" Tomas said.

"Surgery was your mission," she said.

"Missions are stupid, Tereza. I have no mission, No one has. And it's a a terrific relief to realize you're free, free of all missions."

p.s. kids at the party were absolutely fucking aghast that I was 25. Crazy state university hoi polloi.

Police Story, as told by the Dirty Projectors

2009-03-13T08:18:00.001-07:00

The new Shinobu album is really, really, really fucking good.

Definitely my favorite right now.

Everyone should download it, and donate the moneyz.

http://www.quoteunquoterecords.com/qur024.htm

I remember when Mike played me and David a song in David's old studio and I was thinking, man, Mike is really taking this Death Cab thing seriously, this doesn't sound at all like Illegal Elian! I remember the first few shows and thinking hm, this is alright, but not being floored. I remember listening to Exhaustion, Exhaustion in a car outside Brian Therault's house. And who could forget the David Leventhal Sessions, and the unfortunately never released "Herostrtauts vs Time" (the song), as well as a mess of other little mid period Shinobu gems. The following two albums I was never huge on. Individual songs were great, Worstward, Ho probably has my two fave Shinobu songs of all time in fact! But this album just feels right, the way these dudes were meant to be felt, it's been a long time since I've been digging on an album like this, like I really am not a 25 year old dingus and can still discover stuff that'll confuse and inspire me. I needed that, so thank you Mike, Bob, Matt, and Jon. Truly! It reminds me of the early Cuddle Shows, before they GOT CORPORATE(!!!) and that is a damn good thing. What I think I was trying to say that I didn't expect to get fanboy on Shinobu ever again, through no fault of their own of course, but just because I'm kind of a distracted son of a bitch and I don't really enjoy Cuddle Shows anymore and some of the Shinobu songs on the tour EP didn't amaze me (strangely enough, in their context on the album they do amaze me), but well, a man can be wrong, right?

http://www.quoteunquoterecords.com/qur024.htm

http://www.quoteunquoterecords.com/qur024.htm

http://www.quoteunquoterecords.com/qur024.htm

There's a hole in the world, but that's not the fucking end of things, you know what I mean!

p.s. That was some excessive cuddle shit talking! I don't mean it like that, you know how it is, paths and maps and all roads lead to Rome. I'm in that part of Rome where everyone stumbles home.

The War Ain't Over

2009-03-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

One way that helps me figure out if I really like a girl is the "masturbate method". I dubbed it that myself, I am all about alliteration. This is hardly scientific, but I find it seems to work. Picture the girl you are into, and attempt to you know, stimulate yourself or whatever, and if it just doesn't work then you like the girl! I gather this is because you like the girl so much she has become greater than a sexual object, now something to be fond of and to adore and all that shit. Also, when you are eating and she pops into your brain and you lose your appetite cause who cares about food when a girl like that is out there, there is all that as well.

This has been a blog post about liking a girl! This has been a BLOG POST.

-Birthday party was cool, weird, and also cool/weird
-Meteorology midterm tomorrow is going to be all kinds of science silly
-Nate really likes the song "Heartbeats" by the Knife
-Mike really likes the song "Killing In the Name" by Rage Against the Machine
-Where the FUCK is my copy of Space Station Seventh Grade?
-http://blacksnowcomic.com/ for info and whatnot on Black Snow, as well as a long and kind of strange examination of me and Michael's friendship. Not "bad" strange, more like Doctor Strange.

Alright cat men, I'm off to..."masturbate" to see if I "like" a..."girl", which is what I like to do on those nights that seem like the devil is riding my halo for sabers over his shoulder.

lolΩ

The Dark Don't Hide It

2009-02-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

Taft's Brigade fan mail, forwarded by Bob!

Hey!
So, I'm a huge fan of all your stuff through Phat'n'Phunky, and I've been looking EVERYWHERE for more Taft's Brigade. I think it is some of the smartest music out there. Is there some place that sells the CD? Or do you have a way to download the MP3s? I really would like to hear their entire album "And They Will Know Us By Our Trail Of Tears."

Thanks so much!

Seth Weddle

Dear Seth,

Your dreams will soon come true.

Appropriate picture courtesy of Elizabeth.

The volume of the vanity, New York is giving me the creeps

2009-02-03T13:37:00.000-08:00

This morning I watched the following films made in the 80s:

Less Than Zero
Some Girls
North Shore
Private School

Phoebe Cates twenty years ago, yow-fucking-za! I stumble upon that truth a few times a year but my god, to be a teenager in the 80s!

Oh I've got some plans, you're damn right I got some plans.

College Girls Are Easy

2009-01-31T03:48:00.000-08:00

I almost posted about 1000 words about how upset I was that some girl I know hates the Wire. 1000 words. I had to delete it and take stock of my life.

Someone needs to take a chill pill, or blogspot is liable to explode with the sound and the fury. (You feel me?)

This is your life

2009-01-28T00:02:00.001-08:00

Oh, and as everyone's favorite satirical newspaper pointed out years ago, romantic comedy behavior does NOT translate well in the real world. Just a heads up, maladjusted friends.

Amene chashme to jame sharabe mane

2009-01-27T23:42:00.000-08:00

Big ups to Robert Gates for finding a way to mention the word "satrapy" during his committee hearing. Maybe I should have said big kudos. Don't blame me, I voted for kudos!

I have the flu.

When I hear vocoder I hear only fear, loneliness, and alienation. How can I not?

If I had grown up in the 80s I hope I would have worn a huge Dead Kennedys shirt and played Dungeons and Dragons with my friends. I also might be shoved inside a locker by a jock.

My phone has been on silent for three days and I haven't even looked at that shit but once or twice. Been great! You know what I say, I do what I do and you do what you can do about it!

Bobcats and Timberwolves are on fire, that is nuts like testicles.

The flu was largely responsible for this blather.

My teacher had one of those annoying break the ice everyone state your name etc things the other day. One requirement was to mention your favorite soccer team. When he came to me he looked at me and said, "You don't like soccer." I asked how he knew. He said, "I can tell by the way you part your hair...Or don't rather."

Okay Monterey Jack, whatever you say!

Sometimes life feels retarded. But also I enjoy baby carrots and sword fighting movies, so there is that.

Hustlaz Ambition

2009-01-24T04:08:00.000-08:00

That shit is fucked up.

"It is shameful and an embarrassment that this happened," Kyle Queal, the head of the school, said in a statement, adding the forfeit was requested because "a victory without honor is a great loss."

Yes, a victory without honor is a great loss. And losing 0 to 100 is also a great loss. Both teams lost greatly.

Redtube is so played out.

Baazi

2009-01-17T18:14:00.000-08:00

From the ABL to the ABA to the NBA to reverent invocations at Eric Holder's confirmation hearings, Connie Hawkins soars on. Herb Kohl is a funny deertick of a man.

The thing about Dragonforce is that I think I like them most of the time, but their choruses don't even come close to being as good as Rhapsody when they were on their game.

I've been spending a lot of time reading about mega-fauna on wikipedia.

I spit on the face of death for another day, and carry this message to you, my loyal friends, life can be downright fucking decent!

Tear The Guy Down

2009-01-16T21:07:00.000-08:00

My new blog, Books and Stuffs:

Bukowski as a poet, passable, occasionally good.

Bukowski as a novelist, wretched!

Pillar of Salt and Strength

2009-01-15T17:38:00.000-08:00

No matter how much I change there will always be the McDonalds Dollar Menu.

Cometbreaker

2008-12-10T12:10:00.001-08:00

Thorns of Life, the next band to kill it at the Cuddle Space? I say oui!

Space Prophet Dogon

2008-12-06T03:39:00.001-08:00

Why is it that if we don't accept the absolute historical integrity of propagandists and playwrights then we are revisionists, yet those who built their case strictly on lies, thirty year removed hearsay (not to mention confessions brought about through torture) and audacious unbelievable claims are the traditionalists?

Richard III did not kill those weird looking kids. I don't care how long the Tudor Propaganda machine claimed he spent in the womb (2 years ftw)! Polydore Vergil, Raphael Holingshed, Edward Hall, Allison Weir, you all suxxx. Oh, an aside, if Richard did kill his nephews I would just make the masturbating hand motion, cause the amount of children/kin throughout history that lay murdered through more nefarious means are never mentioned, but these fucks are, because someone decided to paint them a few times!? Nobody ever even bothered to accuse Richard in writing until fifty years after he was fucking dead! Weird, no? Fifteenth Century English Historians FTW.

Thoughts on the NBA this season:

-Iverson ruined my Pistons. How weird that teams he goes to don't win championships!
-The Hornets, who I thought over-achieved last year, are achieving at about the rate they should be.
-Terry Porter, new coach of the Phoenix Suns, looks depressed every other play. Agony.
-The Celtics are the most offensive team ever, mean as hell PUSSIES.
-The Clippers, led by Baron, are like Season 5 of the Sopranos or Sesaon 4 of the Wire. It can't get worse, can it? Oh shit, it can/did!
-The Memphis Grizzlies could be really, really good in 2-5 years.
-The 76ers are like...clank clank brick brick, d'oh.
-Lakers-Celtics FINALS REDUX sounds unwatchable!
-Steve Nash, only Indie Rock NBA player?
-Euro Players, swarthy!
-Chauncey actually makes the Nuggets seem like respectable fellows, not like a police line up. What I am saying is Chauncey is Keyser Söze.
-The West kind of sucks this year, and a lot of teams have an upsetting lack of personality. The Hawks kind of have it.

Anyways, I'm sorry I missed the show, though not sorry I missed the door fees. I heard Jeffy (18th century Stamp Act type spelling) Michaelf was pretty funny though.

sincerely,

the worst day since yesterday

Show me your scars

2008-12-01T05:14:00.000-08:00

I just used MATH to determine the Warriors are on pace to win 34 games this year. That would be 34 games out of 82. Using yet more math, I have concluded that is a .414 win percentage. If they overachieve and win seven games more then consider me a happy jock camper! Still, a six game losing streak, that takes me back!

I got the best grade in the class on the Beowulf essay, a whopping 85 out of 100! Take that class of average white males!

This semester will close as it opened. A quiet, sleepless clusterfuck. I haven't missed so much class since my second year at De Anza when I must have missed approximately half of History of Western Religion. I just don't think I'm cut out for this school thing!

I think achieving some super short term goals such as cleaning my room and my car and writing a few letters and making a few tapes and running a few laps will do much to improve spirits over the winter interregnum. I will miss the repugnant conversations of my fellow History majors though. But I'll still have the quasi repugnant conversations of my friends!

All agree the Peloponnesian War was agony, but what about the agony of 5:29 in the morning?

Love Will Tear Us A Something Something

2008-11-28T03:00:00.000-08:00

You know, for kids!

WE THE BEST!

2008-11-18T18:14:00.001-08:00

The San Jose State History Department: Where Conversations about "WHY CAN'T THERE BE A WHITE HISTORY MONTH?" are so common I get confused when I don't hear it before class.

Also in History of Terrorism, "WHO CARES WHAT OTHER COUNTRIES THINK? I DON'T CARE."

So the history department in general is strangely conservative, but that class is full-blown Douglas Feith meets Suharto, mind boggling.

As for this whole Joe Lieberman getting forgiven by Senate Democrats, wow, what a surprise! Groveling cowardice cum laude. Lieberman is a bastard of the highest Judas Iscariot degree, but he does what he does. His Senate Colleagues need to get acquainted with the idea of righteous vengeance. They need to listen to "Street Justice" by the Cro-Mags or something like that. That'll learn them! Seriously though, fuck Lieberman (when I think of the amount of time wasted by typing those two words together my soul weeps ichor), but fuck his dumb ass enabling friends more.

Did I ever tell you about the time Queen Rania and I went to go see Pulp Fiction! It was better than the pizzaparty.

2008-11-11T01:57:00.001-08:00

Mike and I, after a hilarious string of pizza party jokes, have begun the task of archiving everyone into three classifications, Cosmo, Midwest, and Seven Nation Army. None of these should be taken as insults or compliments. Not a comprehensive list. There is always a certain amount of overlap, and these are just like polls, not exactly completely accurate. But then again, I'm Nate Silver.

Giselle- Cosmo to the core
Morgan- Midwest, some cosmo
Sean and Janyne- Midwest, living in a Cosmo world
Nate- Cosmo, dreaming of Midwest
Shona- Cosmo, hint of Seven Nation Army
John O'Day- Cosmo, hint of Seven Nation Army
Conor- Cosmo, hint of Seven Nation Army
Ronald- Seven Nation Army
Tim- Midwest
Dave- Cosmo
Viggy- Cosmo
Delongy- Cosmo
Jake- Seven Nation Army
Jason Jason- Cosmo
Greg- Seven Nation Army/Midwest
Franchies- Cosmo, but still crazyish
Siamack- Midwest
Ferbie- No data
Cooper- Seven Nation Army
Joe- Cosmo, despite the Nazi shit
Joey- Cosmo
Tom Guffey- Cosmo
Uncle Mel- Cosmo
Raph- Cosmo, with early years of Seven Nation Army
Ian- Cosmo/Midwest
Max- Midwest/Seven Nation Army
Kristal- Cosmo like a loon
Gordon- Cosmo, but quietly
Linda- Cosmo
Raghav- Cosmo/Midwest
Dsquared- Midwest/Seven Nation Army
Castillero Middle School- Midwest

Send In The Clouds

2008-11-09T04:14:00.000-08:00

Here is some free advice: Don't drink and drive.

Jesus fucking Christ.

I felt like I was blowing my life away into that breathalizer.

Apologies to Mike, who already heard me say that, but in a less typed, more shellshocked way.

Beyond the Grace of God

2008-11-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

Back to the snow with you, wench.

Loose Booty

2008-11-02T22:37:00.000-08:00

"A fat boy said i saved his life what the hell is going on?"

What song is this absolutely fucking brilliant lyric from? I think it was a punk song I heard on KSCU something like three or four years ago (possibly a conservative estimate) but the internet has been way less than helpful with my detective work.

Save me and my ignorance of the best line in a song ever.

Oh Comely

2008-10-29T14:56:00.000-07:00

Me and Nate talking about this Muslim chick he has the hots for:

Me: But what about her aversion to pork?

Nate: Sure, she's a virgin I can pork.

Nate's face: Super serious, a little determined, no irony.

Wildcard!

Another World

2008-10-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

Two weird bastards planned to assassinate Barack. The plan involved them wearing white tuxedos and top-hats. Oi!

My Queen...kinda looks like a bird.

Positively rocking new mix "I Hate The Singer's Voice" dropping in an Alex's car near year, you heard it here first.

Why do people want to go to Grad School? Masochists, the lot of you.

God Is In The House

2008-10-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

More Hitchens Mania '08.

Sean Hannity actually affects a British accent for a second or two.

It takes a certain type of man to go on the air after someone dies and state they don't care they died. Chutzpah!

Happy hour.

Oh yeah, this one is about WHY WOMEN AREN'T FUNNY, a view I agree with with all my heart.

Archangel

2008-10-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

More Iranian army fun! First they are all Spiderman and shit on the wires and then things get serious, with some Triumph of the Will marching, ponderous state sponsored narration, cool music, and some weird choreography. Alls I know is, this war with Iran is going to be much more entertaining than the war with Iraq, which showed flashes of brilliance, but never could get back to March 2003 levels of excitement (with the possible exception of when Moqtada al-Sadr was going nuts and the doomsday cults started killing everyone).

As a practicing neo-conservative I simply cannot wait.

Christopher Hitchens, hilarious ex-Trotskyite popinjay was on Larry King last night, absolutely killing it, telling both this blowhward rightwing talk radio host and the Editor in Chief of the Nation what was what. I have a tiny interest in his book "God Is Not Great", as I have similar views, but I don't think Books and Shit has reviewed it yet! Get up on that, dog.

Look at Al Gore go! So young and handsome.

Anywayz, today was the anniversary of Paul Wellstone's death, and as one of the only members of the senate I actually liked here's a video trib:

Whatever you think of his politics or how bullshit soaked the Legislative Branch is, you just didn't get a lot of people like Paul. You don't get sincere and screamy that often, especially not in that body of practiced liars and bastards.

Suggested names for Nate's new project with his brother and Jew Dave:

Grim Jack
Nate Kavanaugh and the Unforgiven
Nate Cavernous and the Unforgiven
Bummer Middle School
Family Guy
Cable Hogue
Real Gonners (Dave thinks this will remind people of the Donnas...I don't see that...)
Peckinpah
Ace Bonner

I'm partial to Nate Cavernous and Family Guy. Family Guy would be the most subversive name of all time. The Replacements can't even compare. These names seem to evoke some Western type theme. Don't know what to think about that.

Note to hucksters: If you are going to carve a letter in your face and blame a black man (what the fuck is this, John Singleton's film ROSEWOOD!!?!?!) at least remember to not carve the letter backwards, you dumb and probably mentally unstable cunt. Vitriol is supremely warranted when dealing with these trogs.

The Blood Of 1000 Savages

2008-10-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

Jesus John. This is getting out of hand! Witness the crowd being like, "What...?"

For context the thing McCain couldn't agree with more was that western Pennsylvania was full of racists. A true and sincere "lol" for that.

Irreversible stars Monica Bellucci and a 10 minute rape scene. I saw this at Camera One hellof days ago, and about half the theater walked out. As a sidenote, I once took this very beautiful girl to see a midnight movie (Pulp Fiction) and she made me leave halfway through because she was tired. The moral of the story is I never saw her again. Another time I went to see 8MM with friends (to use the term loosely) and once all the snuff shit started happening, the chick head honcho made us leave. Me and an ex girlfriend went to see Four Feathers, which wasn't very good, but I had insisted on it, and when girl started complaining loudly about going I stubbornly refused to budge, seeing as how I paid money to see Heath Ledger and the weird kid from American Beauty fight in the Sudan and god damn it, that is what I was going to do. The same girl also fell asleep when we went to see Seven Samurai, and even if that shit is like three hours long, if there is a damn Kurosawa film that is never boring then by gum that is it. Anyway, Irreversible was pretty intense.

Oh and who could forget the look on Christopher's face when his handpicked goons turn on him in Season 2 of the Sopranos? The good old days!

Warriors finish the pre-season 4-2. Not too shabby all things considered! Marcus Williams is the Patrick O'Bryant of 2008. It just shows Nellie is an equal opportunity height offender. Harrington just got named the third captain. He looks like a ninja turtle. Picture above is evidence. I'm predicting 36 wins this season. Lets see how I do! Words words words!

Wait till you see what is coming.

You can't stop what's coming.

I Wanna Kill Your Boyfriend

2008-10-21T01:07:00.000-07:00

The reaction shots and editing in this clip are really bad. Near as I can tell this is documentary footage from a McCain rally, and the blond guy is Joe Biden's son.

A personal message from Rania to me, referencing my "you'll change the world one video at the time" remark:

The Rebel got into a pretty deadly row with an evil looking white cat. If I see that white cat hanging around my house I will chop off its head with my dad's machete. Someone needs to draw a line in the sand. This aggression will not stand!

I feel like the US Armed forces right now. I also feel like our love is like the border between Greece and Albania. Apropos of nothing (for real, dog!) is there anything as meaningless as soft-core porn? No! Not even the Disneyworld episodes of TGIF shows were as pointless and without merit as soft-core porn! Not even vocab homework! Not even this "update"! That was the script to my first comic strip, I just have to draw the little animals that will be talking. What do you mean I am an exercise in futility? Oh. That.

Today I read Heinzen, Bakunin, Nechayev, and Tarnovsky. Proto-terrorist anarchist intellectuals really get the yappy kids going in class!

Trill

2008-10-20T18:38:00.000-07:00

On the one hand, I'm pleased to see even intolerant people can't stand too too much intolerance! On the other hand, I'm suspicious of this sudden show of humanity right when everyone is all a twitter about crazy lynch mob crowds. Lol.

Let My People Go!

2008-10-20T13:09:00.001-07:00

A theory about why white indie rock types have been gravitating away from such acts as Sage Francis, Aesop Rock, Jurassic 5, Mos Def, Talib Kweli and their ilk and moving towards Jeezy, Clipse, Lil Wayne and stuff like that is because the white indie rock world discovered the Wire (giving them a better "understanding" of the street of course!), and because Pitchfork started reviewing every goddamn radio rap single. Funny thing about Pitchfork. EVERYONE claims to hate it. But it is still primarily where 95% (estimate, but seems right) of the indie rock kids get their information. They also learn music news from whack music blogs like Gorilla vs. Bear, My Old Kentucky Blog, and Tonight We Mean It: The Music Blog. So, it makes sense. A few years ago the type of rap that was meant for adulation did everything in its power to convince the audience it was not rap. Things in the "indie rockers who like rap sometimes" world has changed. The way I see it Ghostface was the gateway drug. He had one foot in the respectable socially conscious and lyrically impressive door and one foot in the ultra produced pop but also guns and violence door and when Fishscale was released, you could almost see the tide start to turn.

If I was a sociologist I'd throw around expensive terms with an alacrity that would make a sociologist (!) blush but I'll just end by saying the hip-hop world must unite under the regime of Sarah Palin and announce to the indie rock world it is now acceptable to enjoy both Aesop Rock and Clipse! Don't leave your poor suburban mostly white rappers behind! There is lots of room in that backpack! And also in my stolen Ipod. Please enjoy it, but enjoy it in the spirit of unity! And please don't consider my behavior and taste indicitive of larger social trends! And also remember Clipse referencing the Rwandan genocide in a song that is probably about coke. I love it like a fat kid loves Jake.

You were into all that romantic shit

2008-10-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

David Rees explains where he gets his inspiration for his comic strip:

Which parts of the campaign is giving you the most fodder these days?
I guess I get fodder from McCain and what an idiot he is and yet people still think he's a maverick even though basically he's an idiot. That's good fodder because of the fact that he's such an idiot.

Along with his full throttled love of the Minutemen, penchant for somewhat excessive profanity, and a habit of embedding scenes from the Wire on his blog, that simple poetic answer has reinvigorated my faith in soul-mates and shit like that.

Happy Monday!

Lean On Me

2008-10-19T14:04:00.000-07:00

I'm here to solve problems, support bi-partisanship, and unify the blogosphere. Therefore, I will solve The Geto Boys-NWA dispute at last. This will therefore be the first in a new Tonight We Mean it series. Solving the things I think about while showering or porning.

First of all, there is no dispute, this is just something I've thought about seven hundred times.

Scarface vs. Ice Cube
Willie D. vs. MC Ren
Bushwick Bill vs. Eazy-E

Scarface might have the best voice and delivery in the history of the world. Ice Cube is Ice Cube. Back in the day he could get his shit done ("A Bitch Is A Bitch", one of the best songs ever?), but now he's starring in movies about little kids, right? I don't know. Scarface is killing it today. The last Geto Boys album was a sea changing event, Lexington and Concord Bunker Hill Boston Tea Party shit, and his solo album, while kinda gay, also was worth a listen and a half. Which is more than I can say about "Babysitting Kids and Road Trips" or whatever Ice Cube's most recent album was.

Willie D. and MC Ren squre off in the battle of second fiddles that are actually third fiddles. This one isn't even close. Wille makes short work of Ren in my mind. Better versatility, better rhymes. Sometimes I wonder what happened to MC Ren, but most of the times I'm like, ehhh...

Bushwick Bill and Eazy E, the battle of the wildcards! In one corner you have a homophobic runt who died of AIDS. Sounds cool! But the boy could "rap", in the sense that his voice and his guns of navarone rambling saved a lot of verses that would be sub-par if say Inspectah Deck was a stand in. In the other corner, wearing the red shorts, is Bushwick Motherfucking Bill! A midget with one eye with a voice that demands respect. Dude sounds eight feet tall, but more well spoken. I think Eazy is more of like a respectable bench player, and he could get the crowd moving, but he lacks the visceral fury and poignancy of Bushwick. Refer to "Dirty Bitch" to see his uncanny ability to make you all squirm-y and uncomfortable. Refer to "Fuck A War" for some topical war in the desert Thoreau declarations.

Straight Outta Compton is hailed as a classic album by gangster rap enthusiasts and impressionable gringos worldwide. And I'd be hard pressed to deny how amazing the first three tracks on that album are. So good in fact the rest of the album never really resonated with me. And since I wasn't that into it, I can therefore conclude, using a critical-scientific approach, that Straight Outta Compton MIGHT be overrated. The Geto Boys fulfill the promise of what NWA could have been, just as Pericles and Themistocles see their dreams of democracy live on in Sarah Palin. Geto Boys harness the raw energy of the best of NWA, but add some actual depth, not to mention longevity and consistency, which are not to be scoffed at in these sophomore slump times we inhabit. NWA was all about bluster and braggadocio, brawn and bullets. The Geto Boys take all that, but add tenderness, despair, hope and redemption to the mix. They aren't fearsomely talented young bucks, they are just a bunch of grown-ass men. And you know I'm down with grown-ass men.

I declare the Geto Boys the winner in the first edition of the Sunday Who Is Better series. Next time: The Hives vs. The Vines.

lol, kidding.

Misogyny Rating:

NWA: 8
Geto Boys: 5

post script notes:

I will never run out of pictures of Queen Rania.

Well, at least Colin Powell said there's nothing wrong with being Muslim. Improvement?

I'm really pleased whenever a speaker calls out an audience. The audience can either be cavalier or ashamed, and both make for good people watching.

I almost got myself into a long discussion of Metallica last night, I haven't been that worried since my car broke down in EPA.

Meanwhile, Nate is going to continue his quixotic campaign to become the world's most valuable person by leaving copies of Weezer's Green Album on everyone's doorsteps. I wish him well.

First world frat boys and prairie skinheads

2008-10-17T03:38:00.000-07:00

Joe the Plumber has risen. Daily videos and sentences with no larger scheme arrayed in semi haphazard order. TGIWEEKEND.

I was so sleepy today people were saying things to me and I literally (literally even!) couldn't comprehend anything. "Good times" as my 7th grade self would say. 7th grade self didn't have much to say and resorted to a lot of staples and catchphrases.

The San Jose chapter of OPEC needs a Carlos the Jackal

Possible candidates:

Brian Wakefield
Dave
A certain raver dude

Speaking of raver dudes, remember that time in Santa Cruz, I saw some raver kid get murdered, I met a guy, and this guy I met he got me high, and the drum and bass sounds a lot like rolling thunder.

Fear is the mindkiller and 40s are the thirst killer.

Revealing Dave injury of the day: a broken bone from punching a wall during a game of handball.

Sincerely,

Roland Carratti, no relation, the Italian

Gonna Hafta Fight

2008-10-15T03:00:00.000-07:00

Fox News on the Ku Klux Klan. Just as bad as it sounds.

A real man:

Turkish Superman...

Turkish Rambo...

Matt Taibbi schools Byron York:

M.T.: ... I'm saying that you're talking about individual homeowners defaulting. But these massive companies aren't going under because of individual homeowner defaults. They're going under because of the myriad derivatives trades that go on in connection with each piece of debt, whether it be a homeowner loan or a corporate bond. I'm still waiting to hear what your idea is of how these trades work. I'm guessing you've never even heard of them.

I mean really. You honestly think a company like AIG tanks because a bunch of minorities couldn't pay off their mortgages?

B.Y.: When you refer to "Phil Gramm's Commodities Future Modernization Act," are you referring to S.3283, co-sponsored by Gramm, along with Senators Tom Harkin and Tim Johnson?

M.T.: In point of fact I'm talking about the 262-page amendment Gramm tacked on to that bill that deregulated the trade of credit default swaps.

Tick tick tick. Hilarious sitting here while you frantically search the Internet to learn about the cause of the financial crisis — in the middle of a live chat interview.

full pwn-Mate.

Poor House Energy

2008-10-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

I just made a 253 song punk playlist, it is alright but more importantly all over the place and inconsistent. It is mostly LA and Washington based, but there is a fair amount of Midwest shit as well. However, no New York. New York sucks. Five seconds after typing that I realized I was lying, and there are a few Citizen's Arrest songs up in that bitch. Well, I'm embarrassed! Whatever, these are the glory boy days.

Morning links of interest!

Karzai's brother...drug dealer!? How...surprising.

Tapeworm. My future? Nate's future?

McCain plans to whip a black man. From the partisan and not as funny Onion. But come on, McCain vows to whip a black man! Pretty cool!

A place to waste your time and gain nothing.

Meezanam To Saret!

Exiles Among You

2008-10-13T06:38:00.001-07:00

Lebanese groups seeks to reclaim hummus!

This should be very near and dear to Nate's heart. Really though, shouldn't Lebanon be content with the fact that beer pong (unbeknownst to beer pongers) is named after their capital? And what about that indie rock prodigy Beirut?

Four falafel places of note:

Falafel Drive In: Messy, charming, hip as hell! The name says it all. Excellent service, always a lot of people, mixed clientele.

House of Falafel: My dark horse candidate that isn't really very dark horse. Falafels are big. Shawarma is good, I'm partial to the lamb. I'm pretty sure it is owned by Jordanians and you know, Queen Rania and all...

Vivi's: Say what you will about their shitty falafels, at least they have cool booths.

That place across the street from school: Their falafels are green! That says about all that needs saying. They are the Dr. Seuss of Middle Eastern fast food.

Tonight We Yelp It.

The Warriors will be playing two exhibition games in China against the Bucks this week. I'm not sure why the Warriors were chosen, but I assume the Bucks are on the trip because it was assumed Yi would still be on their team and our future overlords would have a homegrown hero to cheer on. Unfortunately for China they will have to settle for the very un-Chinese in all ways Bucks and the Warriors, who I guess have a large Asian-American following, what would being from the Bay Area and what have you...? The Warriors should really live up to their moderate talents and wipe the floor with the Bucks, since they suck really bad.

Things analogous to the Bucks in sucking:

High school girls vlogging about politics
Unofficial sequels to "classic" books written by different authors
The version of E.T. without the guns
Going to Art History at 8 in the morning
Dialogue from the Gilmore Girls
Rivers Cuomo forsaking Pinkerton
The Pinkerton organization
Juliette Lewis
Bands that sound like Interpol
25 cent soda machines not working
Mitch Hedberg: Dead
Nyquil on the rocks

sincerely,

Queen Rania

p.s. a movie about a bunch of dimwitted Kerry insiders who thought 2004 would be a Kerry landslide. All I can say is: pwnd? If you thought JOHN KERRY was going to win in a LANDSLIDE then I have a good and interesting and worthwhile Wilco album to sell you!

Lifter Puller Vs. The End Of The Evening

2008-10-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

Burzum is probably one of the first bands that comes up when Black Metal comes up, along with Mayhem and I don't know, Emperor or some other snow-y junk. I've tried at various points in my life to listen to an entire Burzum song, but without much success. Thing about Burzum, dude got tired of the trappings of Black Metal and started doing really lame ambient soundscapes. Also, HUGE fucking racist. Also, totally murdered a dude. I was combing his website for something I had read a long time ago. Someone asked him if he was responsible for some of those burned churches in Norway. And he said something like, "Well, I won't say I was, but you know, the church in question was burned on blah blah day which is also the day the first Viking longships sacked this church in Ireland back in the 8th century or whatever." I couldn't find that exact exchange (too distracted by my total immersion in vlogs), but I did find his weird and super emotionally detached confession of murdering Euronymous. Extra extra, dude from Burzum is a racist murderer with a computer in his jail cell!

Z-Trip dance mix for Obama, not as good as Bob's dance mix. Oh wait, I think Public Enemy is on this track talking about Mumia. That might change things a bit. Not!

edit(!): Obama song ends real well, but maybe because it made me think of Boyz N The Hood, and you know my feelings on that. Poor Ricky never got to play football for USC...

How To Pray

2008-10-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

A poem someone once wrote about barbarians:

Waiting for the Barbarians

What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum?

The barbarians are to arrive today.

Why such inaction in the Senate?
Why do the Senators sit and pass no laws?

Because the barbarians are to arrive today.
What laws can the Senators pass any more?
When the barbarians come they will make the laws.

Why did our emperor wake up so early,
and sits at the greatest gate of the city,
on the throne, solemn, wearing the crown?

Because the barbarians are to arrive today.
And the emperor waits to receive
their chief. Indeed he has prepared
to give him a scroll. Therein he inscribed
many titles and names of honor.

Why have our two consuls and the praetors come out
today in their red, embroidered togas;
why do they wear amethyst-studded bracelets,
and rings with brilliant, glittering emeralds;
why are they carrying costly canes today,
wonderfully carved with silver and gold?

Because the barbarians are to arrive today,
and such things dazzle the barbarians.

Why don't the worthy orators come as always
to make their speeches, to have their say?

Because the barbarians are to arrive today;
and they get bored with eloquence and orations.

Why all of a sudden this unrest
and confusion. (How solemn the faces have become).
Why are the streets and squares clearing quickly,
and all return to their homes, so deep in thought?

Because night is here but the barbarians have not come.
And some people arrived from the borders,
and said that there are no longer any barbarians.

And now what shall become of us without any barbarians?
Those people were some kind of solution.

Constantine P. Cavafy (1904)

I destroy my body daily, waste my mind nightly, but by golly, my lungs should be in pretty good shape. Now that's worth something, right?! I've got all kinds of somewhat substantive things to yap about later, but it is 7 in the morning and all that junk, so I'm going to drink some Nyquil and dream about hardware stores with checkered floors, you dig?

We all have bloody thoughts and we are all ruined boys. Huzzah!

Do The Knife Fight

2008-10-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

None Shall Pass: The Blood Oath, the finale to our sexology has arrived on the internets. It is so bloated it had to be split into three pieces but what the hell, all loose ends of any kind must be tied, you know what I mean? Starring Nate, Ronald, Mike, Greg, Vince, and more than likely you and everyone else you know.

The Crowd

2008-10-07T04:29:00.000-07:00

Warriors lost by three points. The thing about our point guards is that I think their combined assists didn't even equal that of the back-up center. Whatev, I am still stupidly optimistic about this season, some of our new dudes (though perhaps over-paid) look like they just improved the depth of the team by like a degree of ten, or perhaps twelve. Also, damn, the Timberwolves just rained holy hellfire down upon the Bucks, who I imagine where in that pose those poor fools from Pompeii found themselves in circa lava covering their frail bodies. Basically the Bucks looked like a bunch of boners. Don't sleep on those Wolves, ya HEAR? The owner of the Bucks is Senator Herb Kohl by the by, a thoroughly middling member of that august body. Wisconsin seems to be a generally kind of middling place. I say that with all the knowledge of someone who might have googled "Wisconsin gangs" once or four times.

So, this German dude Heinrich Schliemann is obsessed with the Trojan War and wants to find the mythical city of Troy, a city whose location no one has been aware of since before actual historians were writing shit down in Greece and then he...discovers TROY? Didn't anyone think that was weird? Well I did, dog.

So the fellows of the Hard Girls alliance/band might be incorporating a new member, some guy named Jeffy Michaels. Here is a video I found about Jeffy Michaels.

Thing about life, it's not at all what you expected! Tonight We Ramble It. I'm ready for the motherfucking rain, dog! Also, no, I'm not that interested in a George W. Bush biopic by Oliver Stone. In fact, that sounds terrible.

This was just an excuse for another Queen Rania picture, increase the peace, I'll catch you after my 4:30 nap tomorrow.

Winnipeg is a frozen shithole

2008-10-05T03:28:00.000-07:00

Pre-Season starts tomorrow. Our first conquerors will be the New Orleans Hornets, otherwise known as the Darlings of the NBA! Hooray!

See what happens when people compare me to you?! I write quotes from Unforgiven on your Facebook wall! Revenge is a dish best served strange.

Stick that fucking flag up your fucking ass!

2008-10-04T02:31:00.000-07:00

I posted this shit on the Space (you know which one!) but I don't give a fuck!

Hey Matt, I thought you said Jooze was GOOD!

Pax Americana in flames!

2008-10-03T19:43:00.001-07:00

The last three things I thought about:

A weirdly depressing thought about ungainly and awkward high school kids from the 80s listening to the Smiths incessantly. And then not banging the girls they wanted to bang. Sad face emoticon.

My very high score on the Machiavellian test. High Mach's of the world unite!

Iran and their

There is an Iranian regime that never goes out. That was a Smiths joke, kind of.

I wish that Assyrian dude had punched me last night. You know he wanted to!

Now do Pirus consider themselves Bloods or not? Everyone is telling me different shit, I don't really trust the internets though.

Let's Lynch The Landlord

2008-09-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

"The desert canteen is a man's life,
The shoe is a man's eye,
The wife is a man's future,
The son is a man's refuge,
The daughter is a man's salvation,
The daughter-in-law is a man's devil."
- Sumerian proverb, ca. 2000 B.C.

Those Were The Days

2008-09-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not EXACTLY an expert on power metal but come on, try to convince me Lord Weird Slough Feg didn't completely rip off Brocas Helm! Yeah, you can't! Brocas Helm is Slough Feg with a hint of Jack Black. Mike and Nate really like Jack Black, totally gets on my nerves. It is getting hard to hang out without one of them turning on that movie where he teaches the school kids to rock.

Remember the weirdest fucking thing Bush ever said? It was during his second debate with Kerry.

KERRY: And you know why he gets that count? The president got $84 million from a timber company that he owns, and he's counted as a small business. Dick Cheney's counted as a small business. That's how they do things. That's just not right.

BUSH: I own a timber company?

(LAUGHTER)

That's news to me.

(LAUGHTER)

Need some wood?

Classic!

I was at the revamped Outhouse today, and that brought back a few memories. I took some good walks there, back in the heyday of my love of walking. There was a concrete path behind the community center that led to the woods and someone had hilariously carved into the concrete "DO NOT CROSS THIS LINE OR YOU WILL BE RAPED" or something to that effect. I saw luminaries such as Wesley Willis, the Ghost, Xiu Xiu, and Brian Wakefield there. I heard a really funny joke about her pointy shoes being like a compass and was briefly charmed, until she got crazy Arab nationalist on me.

The kids there tonight were a little older than I would have expected, the median age was probably more like 17.5, not 15.4 as I might have guessed. Still, they looked like the couldn't buy alcohol without a zany adventure and a willing accomplice. Those were some savage days. The venues were often pretty shitty, and the people weren't that great either, but in those varied halls and dimly lit rooms we became men! Chemical Free Zone, the Fishbowl, the Basement, the Outhouse, the Gallery, etc. I'm glad those days are kind of over with, but I'm definitely glad they happened. It improved my standing skills. I'm totally ignorant of the kids these days though and what they like. "Eclectic" is the new norm, you know what I mean? This music scene of the Snakes On A Plane generation is just too fierce for me!

There is also that slightly more grizzled 22-29 year old music scene that is big on beards and either ambient or folk rock. They all smoke a lot and like the same books. Not sure what I should say to them either. I'm going to go with "Sup mang."

From a superior Alex:

. Live with a steady superiority over life–don't be afraid of misfortune and do not yearn after happiness; it is, after all, all the same–the bitter doesn't last forever and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing.

It is enough if you don't freeze in the cold, if thirst and hunger don't claw at your insides. If your back isn't broken, if your feet can walk, if your arms bend, if both eyes can see, and if both ears can hear, then whom should you envy? And why? Our envy of others devours us most of all.

Rub your eyes and purify your heart–and prize above all else in the world those who love you and wish you well. Do not hurt them or scold them, and never part with them in anger; after all, you simply do not know, it may be your last act.

Worthless Is The Freedom Bought

2008-09-27T15:04:00.001-07:00

Won't someone please murder me?

Here's the thing about Kentucky: fuck Kentucky.

very important edit:

first comment on the video:

I agree with her 100%, its time we do somthing againts those sand niggers. We kill them and invade there countries and all they do is complain. WE ARE TRYING TO FUCKING SAVE YOUR LIVES.

i tell ya i fucking hate em. And we must kill them and take there oil as a gift for all the trouble we have been to. And then we have a fucking sand nigger as a candidate for president? fuck that!

Mccain for 08!

How come every racist moron seems to not understand the difference between there, their, and they're? Sure they have other problems, but this is just beyond the pale.

The Meaning of Life

2008-09-26T05:32:00.001-07:00

Every day takes figuring out all over again how to fucking live.

Hemingway entry: I am wearing a ring from Pakistan. It is strange for a male to wear a ring. I cannot sleep. Nas said sleep was the cousin of death. He has sucked for awhile. Audacious fellow though.

Iran vs. Lebanon. That Iranian ogre is heading to the NBA to the storied franchise of the Memphis Grizzlies. I was reading a Grizzlies blog thingy when they announced the news, and the writer was like, "This is awesome, he is over seven feet, he won't cost much, he can rebound and shit blah blah etc ad nauseam, oh I wonder if he is bringing a camel!" Then he posted a picture of a camel. I laughed so hard I fell off my surfboard.

I like Sam Rockwell a lot, but he is walking down a path I cannot follow. Namely the film adaptation of Choke! Now I actually read Choke. I read it in Hawaii. I was listening to Mission of Burma (who is the better songwriter, Conley or Miller, omfg I don't know) and the Stooges (self titled was pretty rad). I got sunburned. I had sex or something in a hotel. There were a ton of Jack In The Box's and for some reason we ordered Ice Age and of course didn't watch it. I found a Replacements record in some hole in the wall Hawaiian store that had a lot of flip-flops and Elvis crap. I remember everything about that trip, is what I am saying, except Choke. I remember some really silly premise about choking. And a guy who says "Dude" every time he opened his mouth. LITERALLY every time he opened his mouth. Also a twist ending! Apparently he wasn't Jesus reincarnated after all! Sorry I didn't do invisible text for the spoiler alert. What I'm trying to say is, I'm not going to watch Choke, even if Sam Rockwell is always great, even in the Ninja Turtles movie, when the kid asks him if he has cigarettes and he says, "Regular, or menthol?" I didn't even know what menthol was then. I barely knew what a cigarette was. Post script: Fuck Choke!

Has anyone read Bless the Beasts and the Children? (Reading: EVERYONE IS DOING IT THESE DAYS!) I remember loving that book when I was twelve. Other things I loved when I was twelve: Coke, Simpsons, imitation skater shoes (Lower East-Sides anyone!?), and peeing on people. SOME things have changed.

All that was a huge prelude for me asking if anyone wants a copy of Stray Dog by Akria Kurosawa, since I seem to have two. It is one of his contemporary films, about a cop who loses his gun. That is the story. If you want it, it is yours. But watch that shit. I am getting dizzy thinking about how much dumb shit I managed to touch upon in this "update". Next time: videos of Coptic Hymns!

Pictures of Queen Rania for the next several weeks.

Shorter version: I'm in despair. It's cool though, don't even trip world.

Rock on Chicago.

The Mute Speaks Out

2008-09-22T02:08:00.000-07:00

Outdated loyalties, shrinking pool of funds and friends, hideously arbitrary 5-7 page papers, all that junk. I bow to one God, and that is Necessity, and him alone! It should be apparent I have nothing to say, mostly because I'm overwhelmed, as I am always overwhelmed around September-ish times. I can say that my brother is starting De Anza tomorrow, so that is an OMG (world wide web jargon for "Oh My God") moment, I found my cat randomly hellof blocks away and performed a rescue worthy of Ashton Kutcher/Kevin Costner, and am once again, ONCE AGAIN!, frittering away time best spent sleeping doing absolutely nothing of value. Just another day in the life of the goddamn boss, INDEED!

Oh, Mike, here is that link you were looking for:

YA for Obama

There is no better album to half listen to and then be all, HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BRILLIANCE! than the Minutemen's Double Nickels On The Dime. The weekend consensus of me and Roger Ebert is that it is simply art, along with 36 Chambers, which I'll never be able to get over.

Misc:

Second half of Gone Baby Gone sucks.
Terrorism teacher doesn't seem to know everything he should. Troubling.
Art History chick a little too excited to be in an art history class.
Contempt for oneself is relatively healthy.

I loves yas!

Everything Sucks

2008-09-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

DORF.

Rise Up With Fists!

2008-09-12T03:02:00.000-07:00

oh my fucking gawwwd.

Is Alaska in Minnesota? What up with the FARGO talk lady!?

It'5

2008-09-10T05:51:00.001-07:00

I'm introducing a new series of entries to this thing. Possible titles for my memoirs.

First up is:

Delusions of Grandeur

More later, oh yes, tonight I mean that!

Speed Trials

2008-09-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

The sheer amount of full to the brim-top hatred, odious strawmen disguised as bi-partisanship, and cheesy platitudes about heartland values that the RNC is spewing forth like so much vomit have convinced me on thing. Barack Obama is full of fucking shit. There is not one America. There are the people who want to work together, and there are the people who WANT TO DESTROY. And the two sides, can not, and will not be reconciled. Rudy Giualini was frothing at the mouth with hatred. Palin needlessly disparaged the noble calling of community organizing.

They can hide Rove, Bush, Rumsfeld, and the eight to twelve Congressmen who are indicted and or in jail, but the stench of the ruling party has carried over to this kinder and gentler version of the GOP, the Maverick and his pretty little moose/wolf killer.

Getting upset is futile and commonplace. But seriously, watching this convention is something else. I'm done. When Kerry lost I felt despair. If Obama loses, I will feel suicidal.

Yo, McCain. You cannot run a campaign on reform if your party has controlled the White House for 8 years, the House for twelve years, and the senate for four years, not to mention having a choke-hold on the Supreme Court. You simply can't. You can't throw the bums out of Washington John! You are the bums. You are the dirty, thieving, fucking bullshit bums who swindle, lie, cheat and daily fuck up the lives of people great and small. Angry rants like these don't really help anything, of that I am more than aware.

But it is a symptom of how fucking helpless I feel. To be rational with these people is to invite them to stab you in the back. They don't want us in their world. And fine, that's cool, I don't want to be in their mean spirited crazy world. How many times are they going to pull the wool over everyone's eyes? THREE IN A ROW? Could the Gods be this cruel? Answer: There are no Gods, and yes, yes, a thousand times yes! These people are out for blood. I don't drink coffee, I would not think to call myself effete but I may in fact be, so here it goes:

I am an elitist and the reason why is because Heartland America is straight up West Virginia level retarded to have the backs of these aggressive criminal ghouls, to carry their putrid cowardly water, and to come up with bizarre justifications for their continued existence on this third planet from the sun.

One America. Fuck that. If McCain wins the first feasible economic opportunity I have to jettison this pathetic land of slack-jawed yokels, I'm so there. I'm just so fucking tired of being belittled. And of my country being belittled by the dumb bastards who purport to "put country first"or whatever blatantly untrue slogan is en vogue.

Bleh.

I'll be in a much better mood later, but for now: DEATH TO EVERYONE.

Clocked In

2008-09-03T01:34:00.000-07:00

Charles Barkley is surprisingly not an idiot. The things you wouldn't know by watching him and Kenny Smith act like tards on TNT all year. Even though he disrespects the Warriors at every turn, I'm pleased to see some grown up opinions. Now he just needs to reach out to Melo...

It is pretty lame when you like 95% of some person to that extent that they could be your HERO but that other 5% is so off-putting and or disgusting that the deal is just off. That has nothing to do with Barkley or Melo.

The only mitigating circumstance for rebellion is victory. Remember that shit, and remember the name.

I think of my life in semi-hackneyed military terms, replete with metaphorical civil wars and assassinations, empty treaties and breaches of the Geneva convention.

Only God Can Judge Me

2008-09-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

John, staring at Sarah's ass and fidgeting with his constricting wedding band:

Had a pretty weird misadventure in Berkeley and met some terrible people. If you are reading this Ray: you are a fucking idiot.

The pact I devised, that the three of us would throw up together and mingle our vomit as some kind of latter-day blood brother ritual didn't really come to fruition, as the only one so inclined to throw up that night was the lad most vociferously against it. Even so, despite a kind of lame start to the night, and a baffling end, there was a solid piece of good times in the middle. Maybe that's what that epochal Jimmy Eat World song is really all about.

As for the drunk phone calls, I regret nothing! I spent the day hungover in seclusion. I think there is a reason I don't like going out until night. I am listening to an Anti-Flag cover of "That's When I Reach For My Revolver." BLEH!

John McCain's judgement

2008-08-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

The Rules of Absence

2008-08-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

To be quite honest, she is America's hottest governor.

This "blog" is so vapid it hurts.

Hurts like a fox. I actually kind of like Sarah Palin, corrupt and backwards as she is. We should still destroy their dreams.

The Melody

2008-08-25T04:02:00.001-07:00

Hm, don't tell the crazies but:

Osama Bin-laden
Obama-Biden

The First Conspiracy

2008-08-24T22:50:00.000-07:00

Ice and fire.

The more I think about it, the more I like it.

Now hopefully McCain chooses Romney or Pawlenty so they can have a cool metaphor too, like uh, Dough and Wood. Alright, i don't know, but Dough definitely.

The World According To Nouns

2008-08-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

Jamie Rogers is going to be a father!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. November

2008-08-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

Syrian first lady Asma al-Assad isn't as dreamy as Queen Rania, but I have room for plenty of pseudo crushes on the wives of intelligentquasi forward looking Middle East dictators, know what I mean?

And speaking of my number one:

No question who the smarter woman is in this conversation. It isn't Katie Couric.

Toi Azizam

2008-08-20T03:49:00.001-07:00

The dark day has come to pass. I can now make an 80 minute cd of Persian pop songs without repeating artists. Yikes!

Hit by car, hit by train

2008-08-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

Many of McCain's friends said he rarely brings up his POW days in their conversations, and won't discuss details of his treatment unless pressed.

"It's just a chapter in my life that I'd rather remember the good parts than the bad parts," McCain said. "I don't know what the point is of going through all that."

I guess it is technically possible that the only times he feels it prudent to bring up those horrors is when millions of people are listening.

This reminds me of that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Ted Danson donated money anonymously but made sure everyone knew it was him. Phony heroism. McCain has a compelling life story, but less is more, and I really wish the fucking Vietnam war had nothing to do with anything when it comes to selecting a president these days.

Another thing: I want to write for a living, yet calling myself a "writer" makes me extremely uncomfortable. Even if I were to become successful (coat-tail riding methinks) I would still hesitate to say, "Oh, yeah. I'm a writer." I'd probably say, "I write things." I guess there is a still a malingering hesitance in taking myself seriously, since so many people who take themselves seriously do it excessively, and seem to be complete dildos. Please save me, Father Time.

I really don't want to be 25.

Find the Cost of Freedom

2008-08-18T03:28:00.000-07:00

Right-wing radio show discussing Barack:

SMITH: Yes. Not that long ago, people were wondering, "Well, how do you tell if someone is white or black?" And the standard rule was, if you had one drop of black blood, then you were black. And that was called racist. But, however, here is Barack Hussein Obama, a mulatto, half white, half black, and he has chosen to identify as an African -- African-American, so to speak. Why is he not racist? I mean, he has a drop of black blood in him, and he has said, "OK, well, I got this black blood in me. I'm black." Why didn't he choose the white part?

Yes, seriously. WHY didn't he choose the black part? How silly of him, since if he just went around telling everyone he was white then he would simply just be white.

Oh my god, do I ever hate things!

Another cringe worthy thing: Muslims For McCain Facebook Group. The sky is fucking falling!

things i like less as i grow older:

Wes Anderson style humor
Kevin Smith's terrible fucking directorial abilities
Magnolia (so much more heavy handed than I remember)
Big parties (unless the absolute right people are around)
Talking politics and religion with friends
Marcus Junius Brutus
Jack In The Box (oh my god i hate jack in the box these days)
people with good taste in music
west virginia (i used to like it on account they opposed the Confederacy, but uh, it seems that is their one accomplishment)
Persians
Congressional Black Caucus (standing behind crook Congressman Jefferson was a real let down)
Football
Jumping over things
Breaking into places

things i like more as i grow older:

Driving
Abraham Lincoln
Julius Caesar
bad music
vocoder
Sushi
Malcolm X
Mark Wahlberg

Coen Brothers don't let me down, huzzah!

School next week, surprise birthday tomorrow, weird GRE vocabulary drinking party, I also want to check out the weird Asian mall on McLaughlin and jump around at Sky High. And that'll be the summer.

The Boss

2008-08-11T03:23:00.000-07:00

I think someone roofied me tonight.

The Funeral

2008-08-07T03:10:00.000-07:00

Not that this warrants a separate post, being thematically connected to the previous in so many ways, but the amount of detail that went into the entry for Lynbrook High on wikipedia is very, very dumb. Policies and grading? Alleged white flight? What the insides of the buildings look like!?

A borderline foolish person like me should not have access to all this dumb information, though I for some reason sought it out at 3:12 in the morning.

Since some of the less affluent schools have very short entries I can only speculate not only do the rich love their money, they also love reading about where they send their rich bastard children.

Vegas!

2008-08-07T02:58:00.000-07:00

From the wikipedia entry on Cupertino:

"Monta Vista" does not mean anything in any language. . .

So dismissive and cold! It doesn't mean ANYTHING!? In ANY language!?

Bummer Monta Vistans, bummer.

Sasha

2008-08-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

Resquiat Et Pacem Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Another worthy man who lived a long and worthy life (that I had no knowledge of until about three years ago-poser disclamer) dies

“The salvation of mankind lies only in making everything the concern of all”

"Violence can only be concealed by a lie, and the lie can only be maintained by violence. Any man who has once proclaimed violence as his method is inevitably forced to take the lie as his principle."

Trying to make sense of shit in the darkest of dark hours and seeing the full gamut of wretched and inspiring, this quote rings pretty true for me:

"Not everything has a name. Some things lead us into a realm beyond words."

Hear, hear.

Damn.

Pwned

2008-08-03T02:47:00.000-07:00

Low-down, shameful-ass shit. I once waited over a day in somewhat blistering heat with a grouchy companion and a bitchy girlfriend just to shake Bill Clinton's hand and have him sign his recently released autobiography. Instead of fawning and acting like a simpering nineteen year old I should have asked him WHAT THE FUCK was up with him during the genocide in Rwanda.

A Problem From Hell is the type of book you should read when you are kind of in a mopey self involved mood, a mood I find I'm quite often in. I'd rather be pissed off than sad. And bullshit cowardice as exhibited by the entire fucking world sans a few (and I mean a few) during Rwanda's time of great fucking need is just what the doctor ordered for someone too caught up in existential dread or someone who needs a gut-check. Missed chances. Africa. Jesus. Yeah, yeah, I've seen Hotel Rwanda, I've even talked briefly to Hotel Rwanda hero Paul Paul Rusesabagina, but this book (of which the Rwandan genocide is but one chapter of MANY genocides!) is a scholarly take-down of the impotent power of the U.N. and the criminally fucking negligent attitude of top American policy makers, many of whom will find their way into Barack Obama's coterie, I have little doubt. I ain't no war monger. I generally hate neo-cons. But I fucking hate isolationist-at-all-costs bullshit suit wearing dumb bitches who believe in fucking NOTHING and are too scared of their own shadows to help real fucking people not get hacked to death. America could have easily helped. I'm not saying charge in with the righteous sword of ALL'S WELL. That wasn't even necessary. Just do something. Oh, rofl, fucking oops.

Anyway, I apologize. Reading was just pissing me off so I had to stop for awhile. Also, I am worthless. Just like Bill Clinton, Warren Cristopher, Madeline Albright, and all those fucking clowns who jerked each other off whilst Rwanda drowned in its own blood. I'm glad we learned our lesson at least. Oh shit, fucking Darfur! Hang me now, hang me now!

In other news, Tracy McGrady WAS the Kwisatz Haderach.

Ok, I'm obsessed with this dude. Whatever, mang.

Also, I'm totally losing it. But. No worries. I lose it quite often. And then I come back. Like a boomerang!

Also, I want to start a Irish folk band that makes heavy use of a vocoder.

2008-07-31T03:55:00.000-07:00

The Offspring's seventh album is just as good as Smash Mouth's second album, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Now let us all discuss the episode of Family Matters wherein Steve has invented a time travel device and Carl's fondest wishes were to go back to the time of the "Spanish galleons".

What the heck?!

Aw shut nuh fuck up!

Whatever happened to Canadian powerhouse SNFU anyway? They toured with Bad Religion a long time ago and I always liked their silly seriousness.

Another thing, popular culture n the 80s and 90s was very Midwest-centric, I'm not really seeing that anymore. But then again, I haven't understood pop culture since Smash Mouth's second album. Which sucked.

p.s.

just like the first one did.

p.p.s.

McGrady (patron saint of unrealized potential), Yao (patron saint of Cathay), AND Artest (patron saint of beating up fans in the stands)!? The Rockets make it to the second round of the playoffs, you heard it here first.

p.p.p.s. I want some more warm nights, there's adventure and excitement to be had in hills and creeks and abandoned warehouses but not if I have to wear a sweater.

Make It Rain

2008-07-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

What is the most racist city in America?

The sages in the comments make a good case for Boston. I can safely say that I am pretty sure it is not San Jose.

Requiem For A Gleet

2008-07-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

I've been hanging in Southern California for a few days, without internet access or much pride and dignity. Multiple stare-downs from latently hostile in-law types will robs you of the intangibles to feel you are a productive member of this world.

Peace Through Basketball!

Speaking of such hoopy things, at least the Warriors are killing it in the Summer League. Retarded Clippers, trying to steal all our well muscled players...

I'll update with something gloriously too-personal as soon as my computer is resurrected. Either about how damn American Japanese Americans are or a great set of books I read when I was eleven that was basically Lord of the Flies for dumb kids who like "mutants".

Until then, hooray for kidney stones and their redemptive powers.

Don't Hide Your Hate

2008-07-01T00:37:00.001-07:00

Barack is acting like a straight-up bitch and Baron just opted out of his contract. Add to that I'm going to have to get unreasonable with people I like very much soon and this week is getting Old Testament ferocious.

old fave-ritz

What THE FUCK, is this supposed to be?

Planet of the Wolves

2008-06-27T04:38:00.000-07:00

Some of these "rants and raves" on Craig's List are downright frightening.

I Am So Mad At You

2008-06-25T04:02:00.000-07:00

Since San Jose State hasn't actually tallied up my transfer credits according to their records I should be graduating Spring 2013. Oi. My closest actual estimate is still hazy, I figure I have about 11 classes left, after this Fall, three in my major, the rest being lingering g.e. bullshit, two of which I think are P.E. classes. I haven't taken more than four classes since high school, but I think this year I'm going to have to give it a go and hope Winter and Summer Sessions have some relevant courses. 2013 is not a year I will be hanging out at San Jose State, I assure you that.

The pastor called him Joseph, his family calls him Charlie, his legal name is Jose, and I call him Joey. Joey got married this Saturday, in the blistering heat of Hakone Gardens. For me, the only non related groomsmen it was an extremely "wing-it" type occasion, but as far as weddings go it was alright. 7/10. My food having cheese smothered over it was probably the absolute bottoming-out of the day. That is two weddings down, one to go.

This has to be the most benign thing I've ever written. Huzah!

We Carry On

2008-06-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

Also!

I've been playing "Lollipop" and the remix to the point of annoyance for the three or four people who regularly happen to be in my car. But Pitchfork putting Lil' Wayne's album in the "Best New Music Column" is beyond ridiculous. That review is a fucking train wreck. It reminds me of the time serious music journalists actually reviewed and debated the merits of Limp Bizkit albums. Dudes, Lil' Wayne does not need to be intellectualized.

Just remember this:

I got so much chips I swear they call me Hewlett Packard!

Put that in your "masterstroke" and smoke it!

Lil' Wayne: The New Arcade Fire!

Now that three or four of the most important characters in my life are graduating today, tomorrow, or yesterday (eee) I am really feeling the pressure.

I'm on Lesson 5 of my Persian CD's, but I think I need to listen to Lesson 4 again. I can't fucking pronounce the word for "street" to save my goddamn life. It sounds like "abhusafajs". I bet it sounds nothing like that.

To quote a November Trials anthem, sometimes at night I think. And sometimes at night I do things that even my future and past self would regard as a foolish waste of time. Here are some stats for the first three None Shall Pass movies. A similar project will be undertaken for the later movies when "The Blood Oath" is finished. Without further adieu, the percentage of time each actor is in the first half of the best hexology of trailer films ever!

nate .44
alex .20
greg .13
dave .090
max .084
mike .078
raisa .072
ronald .066
richard .066
chris .066
nadia .066
michael .054
adam .054
shereen .054
matt keegan .048
viggy .042
kristal .030
holly .030
gordon .024
john .024
vince .018
shona.018
matt delong .018
dan .012
elizabeth .012
pat .006
bob .006
glen .006
gerard .006
erin .006
giselle .006
ngan .006
linda .006
caren .006
ali .006
liz .006

Supernaut

2008-06-14T04:18:00.000-07:00

Richard's set tonight included sampling Weird Al, a song about eating pussy that went on for days, and the super personal opus about his dad committing suicide. All this with his mom in attendance!

I've been trying to type a sentence that would get my thoughts about Russert's death with the proper respect but without sounding bullshitty. I can't do it. He was a fine journalist (one I often disagreed with, but also doffed my cap to many a time), but it is the way that he loved his Dad and son so absolutely and completely and vocally that really bums me out. The relationship of fathers and sons are my weak spot and brings me to my knees in a way I can't adequately explain. I don't want to try either. I don't believe in the afterlife by any means, but for Tim I hope it is Buffalo Bills games and making slick politicians feel stupid.